2016....WHAT A YEAR!!!!!

If someone would've given me "chapter 2016" of my life and told me to read it, I probably wouldn't have

believed half of the things written in it but that's the beautiful thing about life,we don't get the preview, all we get is to experience it as it happens. As 2016 draws to an end, I can't help but be grateful for

EVERYTHING that has taken place. While many have been humbled by 2016, I can't help but think of all the lessons and blessings that 2016 has brought in my life. I remember how every morning in the mist of the turmoil I was going through in 2015, my last prayer request was an affirmation that 2016 WAS MY YEAR and boy has it been! With that being said so allow me to unpack the lessons that 2016 has "broken and molded"

             

                    2016 TAUGHT ME TO........

 BE OPEN TO CHANGE
Now as much as I say 2016 was MY YEAR, I can't imagine how different this year might have been had my wish to further my studies been successful. The plan was to GET MY BACHELORS DEGREE (which I did BY THE GRACE OF GOD) and continue to do my HONOURS. The funny thing about this life thing is that we have no control over it which is why God continues to say "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you" [Jer 29:11]. Now you can imagine my surprise when

things didn't go my way and I had to move back home (something I vowed NEVER TO DO). I felt like a failure because here I was, with my qualification but no job, no studying and back home while my friends were preparing to do their honours. Now being the busy body that I am, I literally had a week before  I was out looking for something to keep me busy. It was only by His grace that I landed an internship at one of the biggest community radio stations in the province but again,just because it wasn't my initial plan doesn't mean I shouldn't be open to it. The point of this is to simply say that life isn't a simple step by step guide,speed bumps are inevitable but that doesn't mean you have to be at a standstill, who knows where the road may take you.

EVERYONE YOU MEET HAS A LESSON TO TEACH

So here I am, content producing a breakfast show, totally out of my element but hey I'm here to learn right. Another lesson which 2016 has taught me is that lessons aren't found in self help books but rather the people we meet everyday. They may be co-workers or just someone you met in the taxi, what matters isn't how you've met but the lesson their little interaction left. In the field I have been blessed to be in, I have the privilege of meeting alot of people from different walks of life from your Mam' Yvonne Chaka Chaka and Connie Ferguson to even the young pageant ladies and women who want to share their story about living with HIV/Aids. The stories they carry have so much weight that one cannot fit them into a blog post but one thing is for sure, the lessons they have taught me have truly shaped the woman I have become today so pay attention to the stories people share, there is a lesson in every story.

GUARD YOUR SPACE

Man 2016 has shown me the importance of guarding your space. In our day and age, we often look for people to fill us up forgetting that what we don't heal in solitude, we will carry in every relationship. I say this to reiterate the ever changing social circles that we go through cause after a while one has to realize that the people you are with today aren't going to be the same people you are are going to be with 10 years from now and THAT's OKAY. One of the hardest lessons is letting go of friendships that don't grow you because no one talks about cultivating your circle and the pain it includes but hey I'd rather have 3 meaningful friends that 100 acquaintances.

TINKER WITH ISH.
I can truly say I have officially been out of my depth this year, now I say this with gratitude but hai maan sometimes comfort is just to nice. Though I may have moved back home, I have had a couple of experiences that will definitely go down memory lane. With that being said, 2016 has taught me to just EXPLORE, it's easy to look at Instagram and wish you were exploring the world like other insta peeps but nothing is stopping you from doing the same so I DEDICATE 2017/18 to just TINKER WITH ISH. Try different things because life isn't meant to be lived in the 3rd row of the rollercoaster but in the 1st row where all the action is.

With all that has been said, I just want to say 2016, THANK YOU for the lessons and experiences.
2017, WASSUP?!!!

Cultivating your INNER Circle

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are” that’s what my parents use to say and for the life of me, I couldn’t understand the magnitude of that statement until now. It’s funny how much weight the word ‘FRIEND’ carries. We are taught at an early age how to make friends, the simple “HI, can I be your friend?” still echoes in the innocence of children but what happens when time goes by and we grow up? Can we still echo those very words, that have started a lifetime of friendships or has social media made “friend requested” friendships that much easier to form without the raised eyebrows.

In the age of technology where one can simply click a button to either request a friend or even follow, one has to wonder what does a FRIEND actually mean. Is it someone you share the same interests with, I mean you guys see each other at various events, hang out with the same social circles so you must be #SQUADGOALS. Social media has even gone to the point of suggesting people for you to be friends with because hey you guys have the same mutual friends which I don’t dispute ,after all

numerous Khumbul’ekhaya moments have taken place over the very “People you may know” list so who am I to bash such a platform.

In all honesty, I cringe at the thought of “friend” being loosely used and packaged into a simple hash tag. I don’t frown upon the occasional squad goals but what or rather WHO DO YOU CALL A FRIEND. You’re lying on the bathroom floor, bawling your eyes out, whose number do you scroll down to, to remind you of your smile cause “it’s just a bad day and not a bad life”. Who’s the first person you want to call when you receive great news and want someone to share in that joy? Who’s your Friday night, pizza eating, wine drinking adviser? Your funny face, terrible twin, Turn up partner or even your terrible road trip singer? Not a lot of people can honestly answer that because friends aren’t just the people you share social calendars with or see at work everyday.

We are so afraid solitude that we’d rather spend meaningless hours with anyone who bats an eyelid in our direction than cultivate our inner circle. Listening to one of my favourite women, Masechaba Ndlovu on PowerLife, she reminded me of the oxygen mask technique used on airplanes which is simply “when the oxygen mask drops, HELP YOURSELF FIRST”. Now this may sound selfish but how can one help oneself if the people around them are used as crutches.

If there is one thing that my 20s are teaching me is to be SELFISH WITH MY SPACE. Being selfish with your space is by no means a bad thing but rather a necessity after all you can’t pour from an empty cup. As we grow up, we realize that friends aren’t the people we see everyday at school/work but are the people that add value to our lives. They are the people we can turn up with on a Friday night and still call them up for breakfast on a Tuesday. They are your biggest cheerleaders when you succeed and your prayer warriors when you go through tough times.

You may be lucky to find them in high school (I blame my AMAZING friendships on being in the same school for 11 YEARS) or you may meet them in varsity. What matters isn’t where or when you meet but rather what you both bring to the table because if you don’t bring VALUE to my life then BYE FELICIA!!!

African soil, I AM SORRY

See we stand here today, celebrating the diverse cultures that paint the African soil but...when the sun sets,  curtains close, we go back...Pack our little blackness in the back, the back of our minds, hearts and souls so let me start off by saying
I AM SORRY
I am sorry for keeping you at arms length and bringing you out when it was convenient
I am sorry for not knowing puo ya segae(home language) because
I let my teachers make me believe that my language belonged in the townships cause
IN THIS SCHOOL, "we ONLY speak English"

I'm sorry for only eating mogodu,maotwane le ting behind the comfort of the four walls I call home, cause
Dare we say this is food, in the presence of  our "white friends" who pierce our food with disgust,
I mean "who eats chicken feet, euuw"
I'm sorry it took Viola Davis in 2014 to strip down her make up and wear her natural hair LOUD
Before I could say "Maybe MY BLACKNESS is in fact BEAUTIFUL"
See I take this time to not only apologize
but WELCOME YOU BACK
Back into our classrooms,our social circles, more so back into OUR HOMES

No more will we have to wait for Zahara or Thandiswa Mazwi to release a track before we AFFIRM OUR BLACKNESS or wait for fashion runways to display OUR AFRICAN PRINTS to remind us of our beauty...
TODAY, we embrace YOU
and TOMORROW you WILL LIVE ON

My NATURAL HAIR taught me....

Tiresome, the word that best describes my hair journey as a young, black teenager. Growing up in a world where ‘long, slick hair that moved with the wind’ was the ‘in’ thing, I never understood why my hair blatantly REFUSED to comply with the norms of society. I mean why wouldn’t my hair have a pen run down smoothly without encountering a couple speed bumps called knots along the way. So I got tired, tired of waiting at the salon like a kid in the candy store, only to be pulled, burnt by the ear, blown and straightened for a couple of days of ‘long slick hair that moved with the wind’. It was in those couple of days that made the cold relaxer, burning scalp and painful patches bearable, but when the patches got too much because of my sensitive scalp, the slick hair got me sick and tired. So much so that I took the plunge and started afresh [after my sister of course, just to make sure my head wouldn’t make me look ET]
It wasn’t until my 4^th year, rocking my gold tinted ‘fro that I realized how a journey  of something as simple as hair could have such an impact on my life so much so that I thought I should invite you into my hair journey. My NATURAL hair taught me…..

LESSON 1: The BIG CUT CHANGES EVERYTHING!!!

Coco Chanel said it best when she said “when a woman cuts her hair, she is about to change her life”. I don’t think I understood this until I cut my hair for the second time. The first time, I cut my hair; it was more of an act of rebellion. I was tired of being forced to fit into a box not only a hair box but a societal box and being the typical 16 year old that never went with the flow but rather went with the beat of her own drum and always having to prove some point. It wasn’t until my second cut that I realized the magnitude of cutting my hair. I finally matriculated from high school and was about to start university in another province, away from family and friends. I realise now that the hair cut was more than just a BIG CHOP but the closing of a chapter (my high school career) and the beginning of a new one. To add to the change, I decided to dye my hair RED, just to stick it to the school rules. In all honesty, the BIG CHOP forces you to look within yourself, see beyond the strands of hair but rather bring out the beauty from within after all short hair says “sometimes there is beauty in vulnerability cause I am not my hair”. And so the journey to discovery began…..

LESSON 2: The PATIENCE in natural hair

A couple weeks into my natural hair & I felt on top of the world but when the red started to fade and the knots became a never ending battle which I always lost, the true test began. See the problem wasn’t that I cut my hair but rather that I expected my hair to grow at a pace I wanted and seeing people on campus rocking their Erykah Badu like hair didn’t make it any easier. So I began to loath my faded red cut and secretly envy my fellow ‘fro sistas, forgetting that everyone has their own journey, at a pace of their own. The point of short hair wasn’t only to change but to rid my hair of the chemicals that took a toll on my hair and the mentality that my hair was “just not good enough”. I had to unlearn ALL the things I had learnt over the years not only about my hair but mostly about myself and that in itself required A LOT of patience. Patience to simply trust the journey and to know that in time, I will reach that level of CONTENTMENT.

LESSON 3: The TLC in NATURAL HAIR

Biggest misconception I was yet to learn about natural hair was that natural hair is the easiest to maintain, just a wash and go. BOY WAS I WRONG! See once the chemicals are stripped and your hair is left in its naked glory, the hair needs to be properly maintained. I use to make fun of my friends who would take hours just to wash their hair until I realised that WASH DAYS was actually a SERIOUS THING. From cancelling ALL PLANS with friends ,setting out ALL your hair needs all the way to setting up the PERFECT play list cause YOU WILL need something to calm you down when the hair you BIRTHED decides to repay you in the WORST WAY aka SHRINKAGE . It was in this that I learnt that in the same way we take care of our hair, we should also take care of ourselves. Too many times we think people can fill us up forgetting that some days we need to SHUT THE WORLD OUT and give ourselves that TLC we so desperately crave. That’s why WASH DAYS have officially became HAIR DATES cause TRUST ME the amount of work you put into the hair for that little bit of bliss makes it a date worth taking.

LESSON 4: FUN IN NATURAL HAIR

The beautiful thing about this journey is that you can SWITCH IT UP anytime. You can go from curly to straight, long to short in an instant so allow me to take this time to SALUTE the creators of weaves, wigs and hair extensions. As much as we are meant to embrace our natural hair, let’s be real, the weather doesn’t always allow us to flourish and there is only so much coconut oil one can use to prevent damage, YES NATURAL HAIR ALSO GETS DAMAGED. This is why we salute the creators of protective styles. Ever heard the saying “I love my six pack so much, I have a layer of fat to protect it”, well same goes for hair. From the harsh sun rays to the blistering cold, the hair needs that “layer of FAT” from time to time after all who wouldn’t want to wake up with a different personality everyday.[ hair does that to you]

LESSON 5: Loving EVERY STEP of EVERY JOURNEY

Life has taught us a terrible lesson throughout our lives, life has taught us to ONLY celebrate the end result, to celebrate when our hair has reached that silky, wavy hair despite the torturous process. Natural hair teaches us otherwise, see I always thought that I was meant to celebrate my hair when it reached my desired length + texture but it wasn’t until a lady I admire taught me to LOVE MY HAIR on the GOOD DAYS and ESPECIALLY ON THE BAD DAYS. See life isn’t meant to be smooth sailing cause if that were the case, it would be predictable and we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the little victories wrapped in life’s blessings. So CELEBRATE YOUR HAIR when it is short with curls still trying to navigate its way around your beautiful crown but more so CELEBRATE YOUR HAIR when nothing seems to be going right and you want to hide behind a beanie but your hair won’t let you shrink but forces you to “expand. Be more you, not less you. EXPAND”

5 years into my natural hair and I couldn’t be more happier cause it is in my beautiful ombre blonde ‘fro turned dreads that I found the meaning in this crazy world. My hair taught me that life is about UNLEARNING EVERYTHING that tried to DIM YOUR LIGHT and instead “honouring your greatest authenticity only serves to make you [..] Precisely, accurately, breathtakingly. Yourself” after all like India Arie “I am not my hair but the soul that lives within”

Mic check 1,2: Just Hlo

From gracing our screens on Mzansi Magic's Gospel Alive every Sunday to serenading us with her beautiful melodic voice as she backs up some of the BIG names in the industry, from Zahara and Brenda Mtambo all way to Gospel sensation, Mahalia Buchanan. Now it's time for the beautiful songstress to spread her wings and remind us why we fell in love with soul music. I got a chance to chat with the ever so beautiful Hloni "JustHlo" Mohlala during her busy week preparing for her 1st ever showcase THIS SATURDAY, 14 May 2016.

1. Being that this is the 1^st of MANY showcases, I have to ask, how are you are feeling?

I must say firstly, I'm feeling blessed more than all the other obscure feelings I have. It's such a blessing to see your dream take its shape. Also because obviously I'm nervous and all those butterfly effect feelings haha. I'll be commanding an entire stage for the 1st time alone EVER. 

2. From backing the biggest artists in SA to featuring on a number of projects, now the spotlight is on YOU, what lessons have you taken from them in preparation for this showcase?
Woah, that's a very big question. I learned that perfection is a lifestyle when in preparation for a show. Also just that you need to be patient with the process whilst you prepare. There is a lot that goes into preparing for a show, and it can never be easy with so many different characters involved so one needs to pray a lot and remain humble and grounded through it all. I've also just learned to remain calm through it all. 

3.Being that you are first and foremost a God girl with musical influences ranging from Thandiswa Mazwai to Jazimine Sullivan, how would you describe your sound?

I'd call my sound Afri-Neo-Soul. 

It's inspirational and very personal too. 

4.Give us a run down of “the day in the life of JustHlo_” in preparation of the show?

 Well ... I wake up and pray. 

• check with my manager what my day is like in terms of my diary. 

• Take a shower and get ready

• Head to Rehearsals with the Band till 5pm 

• Do interviews in between that and send emails. 

• Head to check on my wardrobe and style for the following day for any appearances I need to make. 

• Do make up trials for those looks 
•Have Dinner 

• And try head home to rest well after midnight most of the time. 

5. You travel a lot so I have to ask, what are your travel MUST HAVEs?

My neck travel pillow, my phone and my toiletries especially my perfume & ALL my make up . I can walk naked for all I care as long as my neck doesn't hurt, I smell like a million bucks and have a MEGA JustHlo Facebeat on by Doneupkhumo my make up artist so yes this means she NEVER stays behind! Haha. 

Those are my must haves oh and my handbag. Yes I'm a girl. 

6. What can we expect from the show?

Just expect what you know JustHlo to be when seeing her on stage at any given time. 

The Dream is FREE but the Hustle is SOLD SEPARATELY...

Had someone told me that “all things are going to be difficult before they get easy” I would have probably handed in my “adulthood” resignation and settled as a DUCK. Three months into my radio internship and it dawned on me how quickly dreams change. We are taught at an early age to dream big, envision ourselves as princesses, pirates, doctors, accountants and even ballerinas. Our talents are carefully nurtured like a carefully crafted pot plant until we are slap bang in the middle of our lives, working day in and day out in a life we clearly didn’t envision.

It’s not many that can fight for their dreams, free as it may be, some dreams come at a cost.

I remember telling my parents that I FINALLY wanted to be a journalist, this after many failed attempts of telling them I wanted to be a singer, dancer, actress, philanthropist, author and everything else under the African artist sky. Apart from the astonished look of “my daughter is going to die doing a story in a war zone”, my dad’s first question was “how much does it pay?” Now quite shocked and a little offended at the question, I understood where the question was coming from. In most if not all cases, parents want the very best for their children and coming from a middle class family where ends were met with a bit extra left over, it was no wonder why my parents wanted more for me thus resulting to the question of money stumbling through the shock-waves straight into the crux of the career announcement.

I knew what I was getting myself into or well I thought I did, I mean I did use “The Devil wears Prada” as a

manual for navigating the world of journalism. You pick up a thing or two after watching it a couple of times, namely that to survive in such an industry or any industry for that matter, you HAVE TO WORK YOUR WAY UP, maybe not in 93 minutes but you will eventually get there. Little did I know that the struggle to work your way up while staying steadfast in your dream was REAL.
Most people think that once you are done with school, toss your graduation hat in the air, the world is your oyster. True as it may be, people forget to add the disclaimer that states that “THIS is where the REAL work begins”.

Forget about landing your dream job the minute you step out of the varsity gates, you know that 6 figure, view from the top type of job. Now I say this with no malicious intent but rather a reality check, to rid this sense of entitlement that the world has made to be a norm. YES our parents nurtured the pot plant we call our dreams by sending us to the best schools, YES we may have managed to steer that which we were given in the right direction by means of going to school and getting that qualification BUT DARLING that was just the foundation of it all. Like I reiterate, don't forget the disclaimer that comes with the graduation hat toss, THIS IS WHERE THE REAL WORK BEGINS.
Now the first step in this is getting your FOOT in the door, which I dismally failed to understand as rejection was a foreign concept to me until I began applying for varsity (story for another day) nonetheless the sense of entitlement slowly started to fade. The realization that the first job won’t be the cushiest job nor will it come with the benefits that we only see in movies, IT IS A START.

A start very few get a chance to experience the minute they step out of the varsity gates. It was with this mindset that made me understand that one need not settle for any job but rather get a job within the desired field of choice after all Rome wasn’t built in a day. 

The key to this crazy roller coaster we call life is to get your foot in the door and keep the tunnel vision to your dream because brick by brick, you will build the life you want. It is only in the end that you will see why the dream is FREE and the HUSTLE is sold separately because after all the blood, sweat and tears will you appreciate the view from the top after all no one remembers easy, everyone remembers the pain, the sweat, the tears because that’s what makes it GREAT.

Waiting on my. . . BOAZ

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a young Christian lady who likes referring to herself as a DORK which simply means a Daughter Of the Risen King. With that being said, I am going to take a God girl approach on this aspect called L-O-V-E being that it's Valentines day and all [If I offend you,I'm sorry but this is ME]

If you know me on a personal level, then you'll know that I've been single for quite a while. Now it baffles me how EVERY TIME I hook up with my girlfriends and the boyfriend topic pops up,everyone looks at me and asks "soooo....still no boyfriend, I
mean it's been years now and STILL NO BOYFRIEND". Then I have to endure the awkward ,eyebrow raised facial expressions followed by me tweedling my thumbs and having to break the silence with "Man......I'm...I'm just not ready" . Now don't get me wrong, I applaud my fellow sistas that can get their groove back in the dating pool but that just isn't me. So allow me to set the record straight to my girls:


See, I'm a different kinda sista....

The old school type...

The one that told herself that the NEXT guy I date, I'm probably going to marry. See I never liked the process, it was either NOW OR NEVER, if I dated you, I wanted to see a future IN YOU, guess that's why when the fairy tale endings got blurred, I got hurt.

So I decided that I was going to stop dancing with guys and learn to DANCE WITH GOD.

I needed to not only TRUST that He was re-writing my love story but I needed to understand why He fearfully and wonderfully made me. See He calls me DIVINE in the first place and I needed to know WHY

And so the waiting began (Impatient as I am)

 I placed my worth in the hands of another human, 1 too many times, so why was I surprised that he dropped it, every time. Countless times He'd say "Do not awaken love before its time" but being the stubborn soul that I am,I couldn't wait. I mean my friends were dating the loves of their lives and here I was, the third wheel on the 'crew love'. See I took waiting as punishment, some sort of sign that was telling me that maybe cats and wine would be my partner for life.

But that wasn't the case...

I NEEDED TO LOVE ME.
I needed to love the parts that no one claps for, the tummy that jiggled when I laughed,the breathed sigh when I don't get my way or my hopeless lack of direction.It's those unscripted moments that will probably take the-heart-that's-meant-to-love-me's breath away.

I needed to love those slightly embarrassing traits while letting God mould me so I too can be that God-fearing Proverbs 31 woman that Ruth was to her Boaz.


And even if I don't end up with a Boaz, I needed to know WHO I AM and know that IT'S ENOUGH.

Thank the #2016 JAR!

Day 40 of 2016 and you are either easing into the year (yeah we know January was a 'trail month') or like some , still squabbling around trying to piece everything together so the year can 'properly' begin.

There is something about the beginning of the year that brings forth hope, a chance to close a chapter and begin a new one like the good old saying "new year,new me". However, somewhere along the year, the new chapter becomes bumpy,a little rocky and we tend to lose our way, resorting back to old habits.

Call me out on this but let's face it, resorting back to our comfort zone is always the easiest thing to do, be it in

work, a new venture and the ever so dreadful 'healthy lifestyle'. When things get a little too hard,gym becomes a drag or even when the "no's" become a little too familiar, we shrug our shoulders, throw in the towel and simply go back to the ways things used to be because " this year isn't my year so I'll try again next year". See the thing is we THINK we have time that's why it's so easy to say " I'll try again next year" but whether we like it or not,time is ticking so we can either ride this roller-coaster we call LIFE or wave on as life passes us by because comfortable as the comfort-zone is, NOTHING and I mean NOTHING GROWS THERE.
Now you ask, how does one stay positive when it all goes wrong or even when things go stagnant? Well it's simply:
                                      A GRATITUDE JAR!!!!

Upon my endless quote readings on social media, I happen to come across a quote about keeping a jar and filling it with little notes about the things that you are grateful for or even something that made you smile throughout the day.It does not have to be something grand, it can be something as simply as "got a smile from a stranger"

The point of the gratitude jar is to reinforce the spirit of thankfulness. Life has a way of knocking us upside the head sometimes allowing us to only see the negative in every situation, so much so that we tend to miss

the silver lining in the cloud. In the gratitude jar, everyday is seen as a new day to take a risk, better yourself but more so conquer it all.. The jar not only reinforces the spirit of thankfulness but also reminds us of the strength we possess given that if we could go through all that we went through and STILL remain standing strong then clearly we can push through and make it through yet another day.

The Secret said it best when the book mentioned that " we may not realize what our innermost thoughts are,but we can see what we have been

thinking on every subject by looking at what has manifested in our life.The good news is, what has been done can be undone .What has been created can be recreated." It is in the gratitude jar that we are able to alter our thoughts,see a blessing in every situation given that "You must become a magnet of whatever it is that you want, to bring it to you. Magnet comes first-manifestation is second"

Above all, the jar is simply a way of reminding yourself of life's little rewards even when the road gets a little bumpy along the way. So.....'start' the year with a jar and end it with a heart full of gratitude <3