THE 2 YEAR DISAPPEARING ACT

It was going good, I had just graduated and landed one of my dream jobs. I was finally the "Miss Independent" Neyo was always singing about. I was doing good....and then there was a shift.

The light began to dim, what was once a passion suddenly become a routine. A routine that had me sitting on the bed for 10 minutes wondering if it was all worth waking up for. Social media didn't make it any easier with friends getting promoted and buying their first cars. Don't get me wrong, to the world I was living the dream, going to the best parties, interviewing A-List celebrities and covering the biggest award shows in the country. I had fought tooth and nail for this career so why was I slowly dying in a life that was merely a dream a couple years back?

I didn't understand what was happening until I gave this chapter a name: THE STAGNANT CHAPTER. It wasn't because I wasn't doing anything with my life because I was. I was sleeping at 3am to produce content for my 6am breakfast show then switching roles as soon as the mic went off to become the station's marketing executive which meant meetings after meetings. Now instead of being drained by the day's activities,I was being drained by the routine. My only fulfilment came from covering events that lasted 4 hours if not more. This chapter of stagnation didn't come from my doing but by the surroundings I had grown accustom to,the conversations that became repetitive complaints with people that had been there way longer than they should have.

I had a plan: 2 years at the station then getting scouted by other radio stations and working my way up but who was I kidding, life didn't work like that.

It was in that time that my light began to dim,leaving me feeling empty,without

motivation but rather questioning if this was truly the path I was meant to follow.

The beauty of life is that these chapters NEED to happen,chapters where things die down and don't happen at the rate we want them to happen. We have become so fixated on timeframes that we miss the lessons in each and every chapter we go through. Not every chapter is meant to be lived at full speed, some chapters require quiet times....introspective times.

The 2 year disappearing act wasn't intentional but was needed. I needed to figure out where my life was headed. Where I saw myself because the creative industry isn't exactly a clear path.
Above all

I needed to remember WHY I STARTED.
I needed to remember the little 9 year old dancer who fell in love with words and vowed to make this dream a reality against all odds.

This disappearing act came with a lot of tears,questions,prayers and a tons of soul searching through books.
It isn't easy, I still find myself drenched in tears with a sore throat from the fighting I had to endure throughout the night (times when I wanna give up cause I'm tired of pushing) but every morning I wake up and whisper "I MADE IT THIS FAR SO I CAN STILL GO ON"
after all "when a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows not the flower"