2016....WHAT A YEAR!!!!!

If someone would've given me "chapter 2016" of my life and told me to read it, I probably wouldn't have

believed half of the things written in it but that's the beautiful thing about life,we don't get the preview, all we get is to experience it as it happens. As 2016 draws to an end, I can't help but be grateful for

EVERYTHING that has taken place. While many have been humbled by 2016, I can't help but think of all the lessons and blessings that 2016 has brought in my life. I remember how every morning in the mist of the turmoil I was going through in 2015, my last prayer request was an affirmation that 2016 WAS MY YEAR and boy has it been! With that being said so allow me to unpack the lessons that 2016 has "broken and molded"

             

                    2016 TAUGHT ME TO........

 BE OPEN TO CHANGE
Now as much as I say 2016 was MY YEAR, I can't imagine how different this year might have been had my wish to further my studies been successful. The plan was to GET MY BACHELORS DEGREE (which I did BY THE GRACE OF GOD) and continue to do my HONOURS. The funny thing about this life thing is that we have no control over it which is why God continues to say "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you" [Jer 29:11]. Now you can imagine my surprise when

things didn't go my way and I had to move back home (something I vowed NEVER TO DO). I felt like a failure because here I was, with my qualification but no job, no studying and back home while my friends were preparing to do their honours. Now being the busy body that I am, I literally had a week before  I was out looking for something to keep me busy. It was only by His grace that I landed an internship at one of the biggest community radio stations in the province but again,just because it wasn't my initial plan doesn't mean I shouldn't be open to it. The point of this is to simply say that life isn't a simple step by step guide,speed bumps are inevitable but that doesn't mean you have to be at a standstill, who knows where the road may take you.

EVERYONE YOU MEET HAS A LESSON TO TEACH

So here I am, content producing a breakfast show, totally out of my element but hey I'm here to learn right. Another lesson which 2016 has taught me is that lessons aren't found in self help books but rather the people we meet everyday. They may be co-workers or just someone you met in the taxi, what matters isn't how you've met but the lesson their little interaction left. In the field I have been blessed to be in, I have the privilege of meeting alot of people from different walks of life from your Mam' Yvonne Chaka Chaka and Connie Ferguson to even the young pageant ladies and women who want to share their story about living with HIV/Aids. The stories they carry have so much weight that one cannot fit them into a blog post but one thing is for sure, the lessons they have taught me have truly shaped the woman I have become today so pay attention to the stories people share, there is a lesson in every story.

GUARD YOUR SPACE

Man 2016 has shown me the importance of guarding your space. In our day and age, we often look for people to fill us up forgetting that what we don't heal in solitude, we will carry in every relationship. I say this to reiterate the ever changing social circles that we go through cause after a while one has to realize that the people you are with today aren't going to be the same people you are are going to be with 10 years from now and THAT's OKAY. One of the hardest lessons is letting go of friendships that don't grow you because no one talks about cultivating your circle and the pain it includes but hey I'd rather have 3 meaningful friends that 100 acquaintances.

TINKER WITH ISH.
I can truly say I have officially been out of my depth this year, now I say this with gratitude but hai maan sometimes comfort is just to nice. Though I may have moved back home, I have had a couple of experiences that will definitely go down memory lane. With that being said, 2016 has taught me to just EXPLORE, it's easy to look at Instagram and wish you were exploring the world like other insta peeps but nothing is stopping you from doing the same so I DEDICATE 2017/18 to just TINKER WITH ISH. Try different things because life isn't meant to be lived in the 3rd row of the rollercoaster but in the 1st row where all the action is.

With all that has been said, I just want to say 2016, THANK YOU for the lessons and experiences.
2017, WASSUP?!!!

Cultivating your INNER Circle

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are” that’s what my parents use to say and for the life of me, I couldn’t understand the magnitude of that statement until now. It’s funny how much weight the word ‘FRIEND’ carries. We are taught at an early age how to make friends, the simple “HI, can I be your friend?” still echoes in the innocence of children but what happens when time goes by and we grow up? Can we still echo those very words, that have started a lifetime of friendships or has social media made “friend requested” friendships that much easier to form without the raised eyebrows.

In the age of technology where one can simply click a button to either request a friend or even follow, one has to wonder what does a FRIEND actually mean. Is it someone you share the same interests with, I mean you guys see each other at various events, hang out with the same social circles so you must be #SQUADGOALS. Social media has even gone to the point of suggesting people for you to be friends with because hey you guys have the same mutual friends which I don’t dispute ,after all

numerous Khumbul’ekhaya moments have taken place over the very “People you may know” list so who am I to bash such a platform.

In all honesty, I cringe at the thought of “friend” being loosely used and packaged into a simple hash tag. I don’t frown upon the occasional squad goals but what or rather WHO DO YOU CALL A FRIEND. You’re lying on the bathroom floor, bawling your eyes out, whose number do you scroll down to, to remind you of your smile cause “it’s just a bad day and not a bad life”. Who’s the first person you want to call when you receive great news and want someone to share in that joy? Who’s your Friday night, pizza eating, wine drinking adviser? Your funny face, terrible twin, Turn up partner or even your terrible road trip singer? Not a lot of people can honestly answer that because friends aren’t just the people you share social calendars with or see at work everyday.

We are so afraid solitude that we’d rather spend meaningless hours with anyone who bats an eyelid in our direction than cultivate our inner circle. Listening to one of my favourite women, Masechaba Ndlovu on PowerLife, she reminded me of the oxygen mask technique used on airplanes which is simply “when the oxygen mask drops, HELP YOURSELF FIRST”. Now this may sound selfish but how can one help oneself if the people around them are used as crutches.

If there is one thing that my 20s are teaching me is to be SELFISH WITH MY SPACE. Being selfish with your space is by no means a bad thing but rather a necessity after all you can’t pour from an empty cup. As we grow up, we realize that friends aren’t the people we see everyday at school/work but are the people that add value to our lives. They are the people we can turn up with on a Friday night and still call them up for breakfast on a Tuesday. They are your biggest cheerleaders when you succeed and your prayer warriors when you go through tough times.

You may be lucky to find them in high school (I blame my AMAZING friendships on being in the same school for 11 YEARS) or you may meet them in varsity. What matters isn’t where or when you meet but rather what you both bring to the table because if you don’t bring VALUE to my life then BYE FELICIA!!!