It's OKAY....... NOT TO BE OKAY....

Have you ever had those days where you just couldn't take it anymore?

Now I'm not talking about bad days where Monday seems to last longer than 24 hours. I'm talking days where getting up is a constant struggle, where everything seems or better yet looks like bleak, so much so that you close the blinds, pull up the covers and just wish it would all go away. 

Have you ever had those, be it days, weeks or even a month? [Puts hand up] Well I have. See for those who know me, know that I'm one of those happy-go-lucky giggle brigade (as my science teacher use say) type of people. The one who never showed ANY signs of anxiety, made everyone around her smile, always lending a hand or an ear but most of all was there for EVERYONE.  Now you ask, how can someone with so much light have "grey weeks" as I call them. See I wasn't use to such, because bad days were always squashed with a chocolate brownie. I had given myself to everyone so much so that when my walls collapsed and I needed to give myself of me, I simply did not know how. 

So I laughed, I smiled at everyone but when I was alone in my room, blinds closed, windows sealed, I cried, I cursed and wished I could see past the pain, past the struggle, past the mountain.

Now you probably wondering "why is she telling us this sob story?"

Well simply because I know people who are strong, people who smile, tell people the things they wished someone told them. People who refuse to admit that maybe I'm not as strong as I play out to be. I know this because I am one. See I have bad days but instead of admitting it, I concealed and pretended that I was too strong for such, too strong to admit it hurts, too strong to feel but most importantly too strong to cry for such.

 As I write this,20 something years of age, let me be the first to say IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY. It's OKAY to kick, scream and cry. Understand that YOU ARE HUMAN ( a strong one for holding on this long) but most importantly, TOMORROW is another day. 

The thing is we get so consumed in today's struggles that we forget about tomorrow's joys but more so how far we've actually come. So today CRY, cry as LONG and LOUD as you want and then PRAY till you can't pray anymore because it's only with prayer that you can face tomorrow a little brighter. It's not easy but if there's one thing I have learned from this, is that the struggle you find yourself in today is simply developing the strength you are going need for tomorrow.