The last page of 2015: REFLECTIONS

It’s crazy how not so long ago I was opening page 1 of 2015 full of anticipation and expectations for the year to come now I turn to the last page of 2015 with nothing less than gratitude. See the beautiful thing about life is that it never and I mean NEVER goes the way we plan it to go and quite frankly, I am glad because had things went the way I intended them to go, I would not have been as appreciative of all the lessons that came with 2015 or life in fact. 2015 in particular was pretty much the WORST year but in the same breath, the BEST year of my life. I say this simply because 2015 taught me a lot about myself and about what I wanted for myself and the people around me. I was forced to take a good look at myself and remind myself WHO I WAS, so allow me call 2015 the REFLECTIVE year.

The year I had to readjust myself and trust me when I say, had it not been faith in Christ, I don’t think I would have been writing this particular piece in this manner. Not only did I take a hard look at myself with every challenge faced,which was not the easiest as I’m not the most vulnerable person least of all to myself but I also had to re-evaluate the people who are in my life. I got to learn who's worth keeping and who’s worth cutting the cord.

As much as 2015 came with challenges, so did the blessings, I exposed myself to new ventures, met really interesting people along this beautiful journey of life, people who I got to learn a lot from. Above all, I learnt A LOT about myself and I can confidently say I’m making my way back ‘home’, to myself.

All in all 2015 was the year I NEEDED from the celebrations to the disappointments, I am grateful for it ALL as I am a different person cause of the lessons so......

2015, THANK YOU FOR THE LESSONS

2016,LET’S MAKE MAGIC!!!

5 SUMMER ESSENTIALS

Whether you are on a summer vacay as the young insta peeps call it or preparing to go on one before hitting the hustle and bustle of life, one NEEDS to be PREPARED for the summer vaction. As someone who loves travelling but hates packing, I’ve found that these summer essentials has made life as a back packer so much more enjoyable whether I pack light or heavy (cause a girl simply cannot have enough clothes on holiday)

SUMMER ESSENTIAL #1 : SUNSCREEN

Yes, sounds crazy but the recipe to a great summer vacation: SUNSCREEN. With all the tanning, chilling by the pool, wandering the streets or just chilling under the sun, your skins NEEDS protection. This is not only protection from the harsh UV rays that come with the sun cause seriously who wants to spend half their holiday nursing sun burnt skin when you can have endless FUN IN THE SUN! *corny but it’s summer so allow me*

SUMMER ESSENTIAL #2 : WATER

Another obvious but yet so essential. As much as sunscreen helps with protecting the precious summer glow on your skin so does H2O yes water. Keeping hydrated during the summer heat is important as one tends to lose a lot of water through sweat and lets not forget the anti aging benefits water has as we soak up the sun so drink on and stay young forever.

SUMMER ESSENTIAL #3 :A GOOD BOOK

Now we all know summer vacations are meant for sitting back, relaxing and just escaping reality. As much as chilling by the pool brings forth that much needed escape but nothing comes close to escaping reality like a good book. Sounds weird cause the whole point of a summer vacation is to escape the dreaded books but there is something about a good book on vacation. See a good book is not one of those prescribed books for school or work but rather a book chosen by yourself FOR YOURSELF so sit back, laze around the pool and get lost in the pages of your favorite book.

SUMMER ESSENTIAL #4 : PICTURES PICTURES PICTURES

In the technological era we are living in, one cannot go on holiday without snapping a couple selfies, OOTD/N (Outfit of the day/night) and ofcourse food. Unfortunately people focus so much on getting the picture perfect instagram snap that they sometimes if not often neglect to capture the moment, those unsolicited moments where everything is perfect. Capture the moments, the very moments you feel most alive like Warsan Shire says “Document the moments you feel most in love with yourself-what you are wearing, who you are around, what you’re doing. Recreate and repeat”

SUMMER ESSENTIAL #5: Good Company

Saving the very BEST for last cause whether you sightseeing or conquering your fears, having someone next to you to share in the moment where you feel most alive is the most priceless thing. So whether family or friends, create memories with those closest to you cause it is in those moments that you fall in love with life

With these summer essentials, I hope you “every once in a while, take off your life and rest”

It's OKAY....... NOT TO BE OKAY....

Have you ever had those days where you just couldn't take it anymore?

Now I'm not talking about bad days where Monday seems to last longer than 24 hours. I'm talking days where getting up is a constant struggle, where everything seems or better yet looks like bleak, so much so that you close the blinds, pull up the covers and just wish it would all go away. 

Have you ever had those, be it days, weeks or even a month? [Puts hand up] Well I have. See for those who know me, know that I'm one of those happy-go-lucky giggle brigade (as my science teacher use say) type of people. The one who never showed ANY signs of anxiety, made everyone around her smile, always lending a hand or an ear but most of all was there for EVERYONE.  Now you ask, how can someone with so much light have "grey weeks" as I call them. See I wasn't use to such, because bad days were always squashed with a chocolate brownie. I had given myself to everyone so much so that when my walls collapsed and I needed to give myself of me, I simply did not know how. 

So I laughed, I smiled at everyone but when I was alone in my room, blinds closed, windows sealed, I cried, I cursed and wished I could see past the pain, past the struggle, past the mountain.

Now you probably wondering "why is she telling us this sob story?"

Well simply because I know people who are strong, people who smile, tell people the things they wished someone told them. People who refuse to admit that maybe I'm not as strong as I play out to be. I know this because I am one. See I have bad days but instead of admitting it, I concealed and pretended that I was too strong for such, too strong to admit it hurts, too strong to feel but most importantly too strong to cry for such.

 As I write this,20 something years of age, let me be the first to say IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY. It's OKAY to kick, scream and cry. Understand that YOU ARE HUMAN ( a strong one for holding on this long) but most importantly, TOMORROW is another day. 

The thing is we get so consumed in today's struggles that we forget about tomorrow's joys but more so how far we've actually come. So today CRY, cry as LONG and LOUD as you want and then PRAY till you can't pray anymore because it's only with prayer that you can face tomorrow a little brighter. It's not easy but if there's one thing I have learned from this, is that the struggle you find yourself in today is simply developing the strength you are going need for tomorrow.

21st October 2015 and I WEPT. . .

And finally I wept.

21st October 2015 and

I wept

Not for me but for the young 21 year

Watching me catch my flight to chase my dream at varsity while all she could do was wait, wait until it was HER turn.

See her door had been closed way too many times for her to keep dusting herself off and hoping the next door she opens will be the one, the one to remind her that "baby girl your dreams TOO are valid"

I wept for the mother whose heart breaks every time she counts her last cents hoping and praying that it'll be enough to send her child to school, so that she too can chase the dream she sees her peers  chasing every school term, only to have her say to her child "hayi m'tanam, hayi namhlanje" [no my child, not today]

And finally I wept for my parents,

The ones who fight day in and day out so every last cent is spent on making sure I was fed, clothed and had enough for my dreams to be valid.

See too long have I been oblivious to the silent cries of my peers, the ones who day by day slip away while I chase this dream.

Too long have I been oblivious of this fight for education.

Kuthiwa "umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu" 

[It is said "a person is a person through other people"]

So today, I weep in solidarity of the brothers and sisters that are saying "black child, YOUR DREAMS TOO ARE VALID"

Behind the Name: Buhle Moletsane

Maya Angelou said it best when she said “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing

it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women”.Who better to embody this attribute than actress, radio DJ and PR girl among other things Buhle Moletsane. If you

don’t recognize this name, then honey where were you when Jo-Ann Strauss announced her first online presenter search winner for Glambition with Jo-Ann Strauss back in 2012. Needless to say this was the start of an amazing journey for this ambitiously beautiful young lady. I had the privilege of talking to the young lady who not only reminds us of the power we as young women have to make our dreams come true through hard work and dedication but also shows us that if we try to conform to the normality of the society, we miss the opportunity of showing the world how amazing we truly are.

First and foremost, who is Buhle Moletsane?

Buhle Moletsane is a young lady who is on a never ending journey to self-discovery, - she is just a princess diva who is no prisoner of fear.

Family means everything to you, how would you describe your upbringing?

It wasn't easy - it wasn't tough. I have a mother who has always provided a roof over my head and gave me food to eat. My mother is the type of woman who didn't mind wearing the same pairs of shoes the entire year just so that she can provide for my sister and I. As long as my sister and I were comfortable - that's all that mattered to her. So my upbringing was filled with warmth.

What is the one lesson that you have taken from your family?

One lesson I have taken from my family - my mother to be precise, is selflessness. I have naturally become that woman.

As an Alushi model but more so a young woman would you say you are comfortable in your own skin?

In my adolescent years, I was really not a secure being. It's funny because I never struggled when it came to my body, I've always been skinny - skinny is all I know. It was really because of the colourism thing that people made a big deal of. But as I grew and became a woman, I started taking charge and fell in love with me. I am now truly in love with my melanin self.

One of the many things that are admirable about you has to be your drive, have you always been like that cause nowadays young girls are looking at you thinking you've always had it all together.

LOL!! I do not have it all together - people must just know that. I have just learnt to appreciate life and take it as it comes. I do have bad days, what do I do? I have a good cry, pray about it and move on. No use dwelling on issues for so long. I have to be driven. I come from a family where the word "entertainment" is a foreign language to them; therefore, they do not support it at all. So I work extremely hard to prove to them that I can do this. I cannot waste time on being negative. Already life is tough enough. Negativity is a NO for me and I am learning to distance myself from such human beings - that kind of aura is contagious so I choose to stay away from it as I grow older. And that is how I "keep it together"

Who or what is your driving force?

God. I do not know who/what I would be if I did not have anybody to pray to. I read my Bible as well - that book of life is my manual.

You won the 1st Jo-Ann Strauss online presenter search back in 2012,how was that experience or rather take us back to that moment, what was going through your mind?

I still remember that moment vividly. I was on my way back to Joburg from Durban. It was the day they were to announce the winner - I found out that I had won through my best friend. She beat me to it, because she was just stuck on Jo-Ann's time line waiting for her to announce the winner. So after I found out that I won, I was a total hot mess! I couldn't stop crying plus I'm such a tap so when I cry, it’s real. It was a beautiful feeling and I got to meet amazing people through that.

What did you take from that experience?

Entertainment is not an easy industry to get into - you literally start from the bottom and you really have to be passionate and patient if you want to "make it". I got to cover Fashion Weeks which was fun. But at the end of the day, I just won the presenter search. That's it. It's up to me with regards to what I do with the title.

You also got to be on the cover with your mentor, Carol Bouwer, which must have been exciting and nerve wrecking, did you know what you wanted to gain from that experience and did you gain it?

Most definitely! Carol has taught me the business side of entertainment, which is what I wanted from her. We still communicate. We have phone dates every month where she checks on my progress. So our relationship is still intact.

How important is education among young people especially the young girls that want to be where you are?

Education is very very important. I have always believed that we are learners for life. In that same breath, as an individual, you must understand that it's what you do with your qualification that matters - because we can all go to varsity and be "encyclopedias" and just cram all the work given to us, get good marks and move up to the next level. So when choosing what you want to study, make sure you go into it knowing exactly why you want to study it - understand it so that one day, you will be able to pay it forward. Don't just choose a course for the sake of just choosing, otherwise, your restless soul will never forgive you.

From PR graduate to Jnr Account Executive of Sihle Bolani Communications and even working on TwentySwimwear with Omuhle Gela, what would you say was the biggest challenge?

The biggest challenge was not being able to trust myself. I did not trust that I had good ideas -nor did I trust the fact that I could put together a strategy and implementation plan, until my mentor, Sihle Bolani said the following words to me: "You need to learn to trust yourself - when you are able to do that, you will do amazing things". And so I slowly started to trust myself and I delivered! I really enjoy being a PR Girl, I love the rush behind putting together a proposal and making decisions.

Not a lot of people know this but Refilwe Mazibuko on Rhythm City was actually written FOR YOU, how did feel to actually have a character written for you and how was the transition given that you initially auditioned for Zinizi Dandala?

The email I received from my agent at the time that said that the directors created a role for me based on my last audition (Zinzi) was totally unexpected! I was very excited that they decided to choose me. There wasn't really that much of a transition - I was just grateful that they saw something in me that could work for them. It's only the beginning :)

You are now on radio, was that always a passion?

I used to be with UNISA Radio back in 2013 - had my own radio show there as well. This year, the bug just hit me again! I just love talking and communicating, so having the mic in front of me for 3 hours has always been exciting. To me it's like, I am chilling with friends and catching up over a glass of juice. It's so much fun!

Not only are you a model, presenter enthusiast, actress and radio DJ but you are also well travelled, how do you find the time? Favourite destination thus far?

LOL! I wouldn't say I am well-travelled as of yet - I still need a few stamps inside my passport.

There's always time to travel, you just need to make the time - there is a whole planet out there and I need to see it. Every year, I always make sure that I'm travelling somewhere. My favourite destination thus far would have to be Bangkok and Phuket, simply because I shopped liked crazy when I was there.

You wrote on your blog a month or so ago, "THIS IS MY NOW" so I have to ask where to from here Buhle Moletsane?

Where to from here....well, can’t really say anything as of yet but suffice it to say that, all the significant actions have been taken and all the resources have been invested into everything that I want to get into. Simple English: I attend all my castings, do my thing and always pray for the best.

To Be Black and Woman and Alive undressed by a guy

Yeah you’re alive, until sheepishly laying there as a pedestal for my semen. You catch me dreaming of a holiday season rubbing hair that does not need relaxing, i.e., your need for affection interrupting me.

 My blood is of the village wise, and heart of a village peacock, I, came to the city match-making so I can be the next big-pimping. Excuse my thinking but I have seen you snorting, tin playing and panty-hose-strip jumping and jiving. And your mother’s no hair-of-yours affording, having you pointing at my bald head ‘cheese-kop lerago la missus’ teasing.

Now you want my shoulder to cry on, when, big homies, the size of daddies, who made me feel small in men’s rooms, split you like peas and made you a recipe. I’m ashamed to have been your fellow, but this is what rejection’s moment of silence had me to learn;

Black man is ungrateful. He would rather face the whip of the master after having deserted your face, frowning upon it, while it whispered, “We can endure, we can make it, we just have to hold on”. Ungrateful, not setting aside pride, poor, and won’t be inclined. His will is to extend a generational curse for big hipped and smooth featured daughters over a warm heart/ sensitive soul/ grounded determination/ passionate breath/ hoarse truth/ beautiful mind...

You will never be as good as them? During romance your mind is at war for cheap attainments. To give shelter to men, guard souls of men, wash sheets for men, feed men, realise men. And you open the door for yourself, sow clothes for yourself, and bring food to the table before anyone else.

You will never be as good as them? Because even at struggle, they will look at a made, black, man and say, “Free food”. He can change from a tree that bore him fruit and sheltered him, to a tree that accepts pruning. Your love teaches sons to never look back, until it is too late. You may be blamed for this – reassuring him of his mistakes. In time to come, having to fathom being introduced to ‘Miss Take’. For a son might only know how to tell if he feels love, and not whether the love towards him is real or not.

NB: Nina Simone – Black Is The Colour of My True Love’s Hair

@Katli Jazy San _ it is the on-going struggle African-woman go through as man puts her on, not in, constant shackles, i.e., bondage of(in) her support to crown him; leader of our race’s progression – economically, ecologically and spiritually. She vouches for his existence among the African queens; he knows he is an instrument, he finds freedom in Caucasian music, flooding his own culture, (and) just so he can walk on water.

Behind the name: Luyanda Sithole

The beautiful thing about women in this day and age is the fact that women are now hardly boxed into three categories of womanhood namely being a wife,mother and sister. Women are pushing the boundaries and thriving in whatever they set their eyes on so in the spirit of celebrating young women,we travel Los Angeles (YES!! I did say push boundaries) to talk to the ever so stylish Luyanda Sithole. Pennsylvania born,SA raised young lady who is also the founder and CEO of an online fashion store name Revolt Clothing. With her edgy style and drive for success,she shows the world what young women are made of,one stitch at a time.

1.    Luyanda Sithole is a feisty, independent woman. Her favourite position is CEO. She also cannot wait to be a wife and mother. She is quite complex and there is not enough space to get into all that.

2.    Born in Pennsylvania USA, was the transition back to South Africa difficult or rather natural? I was 2 years old when I moved to South Africa so it was pretty natural. All I needed was soft food and toys.

3.   Young as you are, what would you say is the biggest misconception about you? Mmmm lol well people think I don’t listen. I just hardly give the answer you want once asked what I think.

4.    You went to the National School of the Arts in Johannesburg; would you say that was your pinnacle moment in knowing you wanted to be in the Arts? No, my pinnacle moment was when I was 6 years old and loved to dance so my folk put me into ballet. Didn’t help that my family are in the arts too.

5.    What was the biggest challenge in going to a school that's pretty much filled with creatives in every corner? Oh wow that is a complex question, because there were tons of challenges in different aspects, but I would say finding your competitor and beating them. We were always taught to do that, as well as be supportive to one another. Took some time to figure out but we did it.

6.   You then moved to Los Angeles to study fashion marketing, why the decision to move back to the USA? I get asked this question a lot and I wish I had an inspiring story but basically I am a citizen so why not?

7.   Not a lot of people know that you have actually dabbled in music, how did that come about? My parents own a record label so I have always been around the music industry. So for some time I thought it was my dream too…It wasn’t.

8. Working with Tricky Stewart who's pretty much worked with big names such as Mary J Blige, Mariah Carey, Rihanna and even Beyoncé, how was that experience and what did you take from it? It was a very crazy experience to have such an intense internship while I was in my last year of school. It was a lot of late nights in studio. But I learnt how to conduct myself amongst different levels of people. How to get ish done,  no matter what type of pressure you are in. The greatest was how to strive for excellence at all times.

9. You say fashion has always had your heart, would you say that influenced your decision in pursuing it further? Yes, and I know how to do it pretty well. The ecommerce, business side of fashion at least.

10. With this passion, how did you start your fashion career? I really started pursing my fashion career by becoming a social media and marketing specialist for 2 fashion ecommerce. One being a lifestyle boutique and the other a large fast fashion market place.

11. Would you say those were stepping-stones to building what is now your Revolt Brand? Everything I have done, from putting on my first pair of ballet shoes, to now have been the stepping-stones to build my very first company. Every life experience is an extension of how I conduct my business Revolt Clothing, and any future companies under my name.

12.With South Africa celebrating Women's Month, what does this mean to you as a young woman yourself? Me launching Revolt Clothing in Women’s Month was something I had to do. To show that more women are becoming entrepreneurs, while being a daughter, wife, mother, friend and some even still working their 9-5. We are the strongest beings and it is about time we get recognized for it across the board. Especially in South Africa where there is still a perception that women belong in the kitchen. We pretty much have been ruling the world since the beginning of time; everybody else just needs to realize that. *cues Beyonce*

13. What is your take on the pressures the media puts on women especially in the fashion industry? The one thing that I hate that fashion and media pushes is the definition of real women. From Dove commercials showing curvier women and calling them “Real” yet the Victoria Secret models aren’t because they are thin really makes me mad. Every single person who identifies as a woman is a real woman. Body shaming is such a huge part of fashion and media and it needs to stop. No matter what shape, size, colour, height, occupation we are all woman and need to stand together.

14. Many designers believe in wearing your brand means you believe in it so what’s your take

on this? How important is that especially if you want people to believe in your brand as much as you believe in it? Everyone who is selling a product needs to use their product. Not only because you believe in it, but also because you are a walking billboard. It is free advertising so yes wearing your brand is important on so many different levels besides passion. I am wearing Revolt Clothing right now lol.

15. Describe your collection in 3 words. Unique, Timeless and BADASS

16. Seeing that Revolt is about bringing your experiences in fashion home, are we going to the seeing more than the online boutique? Maybe pop up stores? The sky is the limit; this can go in so many different directions. That is the beauty of starting online. And yes, I totally love pop ups it is a great opportunity to meet all the lovely peeps following the Revolt!

Check out the Revolt on www.revoltclothing.net/