The Silent Prayer

In light of the various xenophobic attacks that have been happening around our country this past month, I was asked to write a piece and recite it at a silent protest we had at the University of Western Cape.
I don't normally share such but I found it fitting as this was a cause dear to my heart. It goes as follows:

Dear African Brothers & Sisters

Firstly lemme apologies for the...how do I put it,
Barbaric and inhuman way our fellow brothers and sisters have been treating you
YES brothers and sisters
Because we are FIRST AFRICANS before we are even South Africans.

See this hatred isn't directed at you,
So sorry for being the casualities in this war between ourselves

We have been taught to hate our skin cause
that very skin,that comes in different shades
will never amount to anything.
So when we see you break those stereotypes
in a country that is deemed "not your own"
We become jealous,
saying "THAT SHOULD BE ME"

So sorry for being causalities in this war between ourselves

As we stand here today
And realize that this is not a war between me and you
Let us remember that
we BLEED the SAME BLOOD,
WALK ON the SAME SOIL
simply cause we are AFRICANS before SOUTH AFRICANS
And we say NO TO XENOPHOBIA

Wish upon the age of 20s

"I'm 20something and I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE" , these are the words uttered by almost every 20 something year old at some point in their life,myself included. I do not know about you but I've always been in this motion of having to know exactly what I am doing with my life, from knowing which high school I wanted to apply to, to which subjects I was going to take because these subjects determined which course I would be doing and which university I would be going to. Mind you, I had to make these decisions in grade 7 and my older cousins knowing exactly what they wanted to do when they finished school didn't make it any easier. I basically put pressure on myself and BAM! 20 years old,face down, hands on head wondering "Is this really what it's come to?". Don't  get me wrong, I love where my choice have taken me (I think), I just wish I didn't have my foot on accelerator cause maybe then I wouldn't be stuck on the past or the future but simply enjoy the present.

We being society have somehow adopted this mentality that we HAVE to know exactly what we want which is not a bad thing, I mean I don't think we want to be slumming in our parents' back room at the age of 40 but COME ON, I'm ONLY 20! I've only been on this Earth for 2 decades, the very 2 decades that have had me discovering that the world isn't as colourful as the pictures I painted, learning about the changes in my body and then having to fight those very changes that somehow made me different to the norms of society so sue me for not having it all figured 

out. 

I mean aren't your 20s suppose to be the BEST years of your life, the years where the world is LITERALLY your oyster. When I think of 20s, I think of the endless roadtrips I am yet to take, the random binge trips to McDs in PJs when school books have us running for the nearest exit. More than that, I think of the endless discoveries I'm yet to make not only about the people around me but rather about myself. From the random boys that we date cause we trying new things to even the strangers that we going to meet and possibly have them stand next to us as our maid of honor when we say "I do". Our 20s are literally OUR SELFISH era, where take back the years when we thought about others opinions and just simply say " MY LIFE,MY RULES"

So you don't have it all figured out yet, SO WHAT. . . . . . I'm not saying drop out and forget about the future but I'm also not saying be stuck in a routine that you forget that you are young. Like Kyoko Escamilia says "Your 20s are your 'selfish' years. It's a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time and all aspects of you. Tinker with sh*t, travel,explore,love alot,love a little and never touch the ground" Now take your 20s and simply CARPE DIEM!

She dreamed and THEY CREATED. .

On the 8^th of March 2015, International Woman’s day was celebrated, a day where women across all nations, races and even ages are celebrated for the achievements that they have made in effort of bettering the lives of people especially young women. As a young woman who also wants to make a difference in the world, this day not only means celebrating the triumphs women have accomplished through the years but as well as looking back at the struggles they had to go through as those very struggles are still residing within our society.

For some like myself that don’t quite know the history behind this day, International Women’s day was first celebrated on the 28^th of February 1909 as it was first observed by the US under the Socialist Party in honour of women who were involved the 1908 garment workers’ strike against working conditions in New York. The day was established in the Socialist International meeting in Copenhagen 1910 to “honour the movement for women’s rights and to build support for achieving universal suffrage for women”. The day also became a mechanism for the protests in WW1 in 1913 as well the “Bread and Peace” strike which was a backdrop against the war.

Upon reading this, not only did I realize the amount of courage we as women possess but the amount of strength we possess in solidarity. If you think about our generation of women today, too many of us are in competition not with men but more so our fellow women. We see the next woman as a competitor so we scrutinize, find fault and belittle her all in the name of sounding and even being perceived as being better than her. SERIOUSLY?!!! I can’t tell you how many times I've heard women call each other out on things as tedious as gossip and men. Who told us that fighting one another would make us the icons that we use to look up?

We now have young girls looking up to people like Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose who pose naked for fame and have twitter wars on who actually has a shadier past. Were we really raised like that? Where are the Jane Austens, Margret Fullers, Rosa Parks and even Eleanor Roosevelts of this generation? Instead we’d rather compare twerking notes and the latest “side chick” tips. We celebrate women and how far they have come in history forgetting that as much as the war against gender inequality as well as issues regarding women is half won, WE as the women of this generation need to fight even harder to carry on the legacy that our mothers and grandmothers have paved.

Forget what the next women is doing, having or even taking and instead BE the woman that makes other women step up their game because “a woman who knows her worth doesn't measure herself against another woman but stands strong, calm and self-confident”.

 Here’s to the STRONG WOMEN: May we KNOW them, May we BE them and May we RAISE THEM.

Because Valentine's Day SUCKS!!!

Valentine's weekend is over with some rejoicing over the end of this stupid holiday and others  are wishing it were just a little longer. Now for a day dedicated to love, for the life of me, I cannot understand why there's so much negativity surrounding this day which is quite sad if you ask me.

This isn't one of those pieces where I'll be unpacking or anything like that but rather a reflection type of piece. For as long as I can remember, I've always been celebrating Valentine's Day from dressing up in red and white all the way to writing cards to my mom and dad only to be thanked with lots of chocolate. I didn't understand this day but all I knew was that it was about celebrating love and who better than to give it to my family. It wasn't until the 5th grade when the lines got blurred, the boys in my class started asking out my friends and I couldn't understand why but I went along with it. So I waited to be asked.  When my best friend, who I secretly had a crush on, asked my friend. I vowed NEVER to celebrate Valentine's day because it was "too cliche".
Now be honest with yourself,especially those who detest this day, you only hate this day because 10 to 1, you probably had a bad experience with this day and buying chocolate for yourself is just so uncool. I don't want to lie, but I was there, still kinda am because I don't remember a Valentine's day when I wasn't alone but hey, I thought I'd try something different. Instead of waiting for someone to spoil me with gifts,roses and chocolates, hows about do it for myself or better yet someone random.

We especially ladies tend to have this idea that we NEED to GET something from someone forgetting that GIVING brings greater rewards. Think about the girls that no nothing about love except for battered faces,bruises on skin and words like "sl#t, B*#@h" resonating in their heads. Take something small as giving chocolates to a stranger or spending time with a young girl teaching her about love instead of crying over movies about how you don't have a valentine's date like Augustus Waters or Christian Grey cause don't we all need love at some point in time.

"I have a boyfriend" oops. . .

Out on a night out with the girls, sipping on one of the lounge's specialty cocktails cause you feeling a little adventurous when a young man slowly starts walking towards your handbag filled table. He's not your average Joe but he's also not your next Calvin Klein model so you pay no never-mind to his approach after all this is a girls night.After a couple empty pick-up lines and pleasantries, he asks you out and before the words can filter through your ever so logical brain, you utter "I have a boyfriend" now we all know this is not true but it got him away....now for the big whoops? Why couldn't you just say you are not interested cause lets face it, had you said you are single, Mr would have pestered you until you gave him your number,called to make sure it's not a fake number and left you having  to block him whereas saying you have boyfriend eliminates all that unnecessary work if you are lucky.

My concern isn't on the guy that simply wants to score but why has society made being in a relationship a norm, like if you are female you HAVE to have a partner to be accepted. Now don't get me wrong, being in a relationship is beautiful but so is being single, unfortunately that is being frowned upon and basically making single women prey to the various guys who think that a women cannot simply enjoy being in the comfort of their own company so we resort to lying and saying we have non-existent boyfriends just so we can avoid the awkward "why don't you have a boyfriend, you too cute to be single" questions.
Now obviously this isn't something easy to do cause let's face it, should you say you are just not interested, follow up questions like:
“Oh, so you have a boyfriend?”
“I said, I’m not interested.”
“So you’re a lesbian, then?”
“Actually, I’m not interested.”
“You seem crazy.”
“Nope, just not interested.”
are bound to come up so we go for the easy route which not only indicates  the male privilege of  “I have a boyfriend” being the only thing that can actually stop someone from hitting on you because they "respect another male-bodied person more than they respect your rejection/lack of interest"  but that  single girls are "fair game"  to harassment.
This does need some guts cause not only does the guy end up thinking you are some crazy stuck up feminist but in some cases, it does spark up some pretty interesting debate cause lets face it, no guy takes blatant rejection easy. Gutsy as this is, it does have its benefits,benefits  that outweigh the common "I have a boyfriend" lie after all wouldn't you rather want guys to give you and women in general the respect of your honest lack of interest, dance the night away without being hassled and curl up in bed knowing that you gave YOURSELF the respect YOU DESERVE.
Now go be kick-ass,dance the night away and make NO excuse for being the girl that simply enjoys her own company.

Turn Up with a Twist

Third week of December and either you are recovering from the weekend’s festivities and planning the rest of your Turn Ups or like some of us just simply being swallowed by the couch and couldn't be bothered at how many re-runs you've watch because you are making up for the months you've missed the actual Generations. Now don’t get me wrong, this isn't some “let’s feel guilty for the girl who can’t go out” post but rather something to ponder on. Let’s face it whenever we think of December, we think of the endless parties we just simply HAVE to go to and even start saving for them because it is the norm but is this really what the festive season has come to, turning up till the break of dawn, nursing the possible headache and going at it again like some routine because we are making up for the months we slaved over those large textbooks and endless words that left us questioning our purpose in varsity all in after all “ke December boss”. I get it, we deserve a break to just put our feet up, drink sundowners and toast to the years work but to turn up, blow cash on alcohol and basically have nothing but a pot belly and empty pockets to show for it? How’s about twisting things a bit and when I say try something different I don’t mean stop drinking and become what we call a “party pooper” but how’s about explore other things the festive season has to offer. We complain about how we can’t afford to travel and end up dreaming about the places we would like to see instead of actually making a plan to fulfill those dreams, I mean imagine using the cash you spent of drinking and turning up on a trip to Cape Town or even Swaziland. Yes travelling during this time is pretty expensive and partying seems like a simpler solution and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing but trying new experiences also brings forth the same results if not better without having you piecing out last night’s puzzle. Think about it, our parents and even grandparents didn't have the opportunities to travel as freely as we do so why not explore the world, try new things and learn new experiences. I mean it was a alil embarrassing for me to hear how my GRANDMOTHER of 60something and her close friend who’s pretty cool for an 80something year old “living the nice life”(her words, not mine) and trying new things while I was coped up in my room, staring at my screen. I mean it doesn't have to be extravagant but a simple visit to a historical site like Vilakazi Street or even a hike up God’s Window and if you daring bungee jumping at the Moses Mabida stadium, that’s all it takes to make your holiday alil different. Take the rest if December as a month to explore, learn and simply experience after all you are only young once.

Beautifully Flawed

Can all the REAL GIRLS please stand up?? Now before you start writing me off let me break it down. When I say REAL GIRLS, I am not referring to the picture perfect, fliter free gorgeous being we follow on instagram and secretly wish we could steal a fraction of her beauty nor am I referring to the thick madam whose anaconda don’t cause she’s “all about that base”. When I say REAL GIRL , I’m talking about that girl that can’t post a “I woke up like this” selfie because she has puffy eyes that require immediate attention before even letting the sunlight in not forgetting the  drool tracings on her cheek that remind her that as much as she’s grown up, there are some things her inner child just won’t let go of.
It’s quite funny how life has changed how we perceive ourselves as girls, ladies and even women because all of a sudden we have to fit into a box and play into life’s “thinya thanya” game because it’s either you are Team YellowBone or Team whatever bone, Team skinny or Team PHat. When did we become a generation that places beauty and outward appearance above everything else? If we not for one team, we have to be degrading someone else because they don’t fit into that box. Don’t blame media on this because as much as media plays its role, it all boils down to us.
Have you noticed how we look at ourselves in such a critical manner and when I say critical, I put emphasis on the negative connotations because I don’t know about you but in my years of growing up especially during my puberty years, I don’t think I have ever passed a mirror, looked at myself (cause what else is a girl supposed to do) and not said something negative about myself and honestly it hurts. We say guys always find something negative to say about girls but have you ever thought at how many of those very things we say about other girls or even about OURSELVES. You can’t expect someone to love you if you can’t look at yourself in the mirror, say I love me and ACTUALLY believe it.
I’m privileged to have younger sisters and see how society’s ideology of beauty has created a painful domino effect on our generation. It’s easy to brush off the stereotypes when it’s on us but when you see a young 16 year old girl say to themselves that they wish they were prettier, skinner or even lighter then you know that something needs to be done to repaint this picture.  Okay so you don’t have the fairest skin, you have stripes longer than the river Nile and you can’t wear shorts without spotting a couple of dimples on your thighs. SO WHAT??? Baby girl, you are ART. . . your dimples, scars and stripes are stories engraved to show the world that the human body  isn’t supposed to look nice , it was supposed to make you feel something because you are BEAUTIFULLY FLAWED.