The Dream is FREE but the Hustle is SOLD SEPARATELY...

Had someone told me that “all things are going to be difficult before they get easy” I would have probably handed in my “adulthood” resignation and settled as a DUCK. Three months into my radio internship and it dawned on me how quickly dreams change. We are taught at an early age to dream big, envision ourselves as princesses, pirates, doctors, accountants and even ballerinas. Our talents are carefully nurtured like a carefully crafted pot plant until we are slap bang in the middle of our lives, working day in and day out in a life we clearly didn’t envision.

It’s not many that can fight for their dreams, free as it may be, some dreams come at a cost.

I remember telling my parents that I FINALLY wanted to be a journalist, this after many failed attempts of telling them I wanted to be a singer, dancer, actress, philanthropist, author and everything else under the African artist sky. Apart from the astonished look of “my daughter is going to die doing a story in a war zone”, my dad’s first question was “how much does it pay?” Now quite shocked and a little offended at the question, I understood where the question was coming from. In most if not all cases, parents want the very best for their children and coming from a middle class family where ends were met with a bit extra left over, it was no wonder why my parents wanted more for me thus resulting to the question of money stumbling through the shock-waves straight into the crux of the career announcement.

I knew what I was getting myself into or well I thought I did, I mean I did use “The Devil wears Prada” as a

manual for navigating the world of journalism. You pick up a thing or two after watching it a couple of times, namely that to survive in such an industry or any industry for that matter, you HAVE TO WORK YOUR WAY UP, maybe not in 93 minutes but you will eventually get there. Little did I know that the struggle to work your way up while staying steadfast in your dream was REAL.
Most people think that once you are done with school, toss your graduation hat in the air, the world is your oyster. True as it may be, people forget to add the disclaimer that states that “THIS is where the REAL work begins”.

Forget about landing your dream job the minute you step out of the varsity gates, you know that 6 figure, view from the top type of job. Now I say this with no malicious intent but rather a reality check, to rid this sense of entitlement that the world has made to be a norm. YES our parents nurtured the pot plant we call our dreams by sending us to the best schools, YES we may have managed to steer that which we were given in the right direction by means of going to school and getting that qualification BUT DARLING that was just the foundation of it all. Like I reiterate, don't forget the disclaimer that comes with the graduation hat toss, THIS IS WHERE THE REAL WORK BEGINS.
Now the first step in this is getting your FOOT in the door, which I dismally failed to understand as rejection was a foreign concept to me until I began applying for varsity (story for another day) nonetheless the sense of entitlement slowly started to fade. The realization that the first job won’t be the cushiest job nor will it come with the benefits that we only see in movies, IT IS A START.

A start very few get a chance to experience the minute they step out of the varsity gates. It was with this mindset that made me understand that one need not settle for any job but rather get a job within the desired field of choice after all Rome wasn’t built in a day. 

The key to this crazy roller coaster we call life is to get your foot in the door and keep the tunnel vision to your dream because brick by brick, you will build the life you want. It is only in the end that you will see why the dream is FREE and the HUSTLE is sold separately because after all the blood, sweat and tears will you appreciate the view from the top after all no one remembers easy, everyone remembers the pain, the sweat, the tears because that’s what makes it GREAT.

Waiting on my. . . BOAZ

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a young Christian lady who likes referring to herself as a DORK which simply means a Daughter Of the Risen King. With that being said, I am going to take a God girl approach on this aspect called L-O-V-E being that it's Valentines day and all [If I offend you,I'm sorry but this is ME]

If you know me on a personal level, then you'll know that I've been single for quite a while. Now it baffles me how EVERY TIME I hook up with my girlfriends and the boyfriend topic pops up,everyone looks at me and asks "soooo....still no boyfriend, I
mean it's been years now and STILL NO BOYFRIEND". Then I have to endure the awkward ,eyebrow raised facial expressions followed by me tweedling my thumbs and having to break the silence with "Man......I'm...I'm just not ready" . Now don't get me wrong, I applaud my fellow sistas that can get their groove back in the dating pool but that just isn't me. So allow me to set the record straight to my girls:


See, I'm a different kinda sista....

The old school type...

The one that told herself that the NEXT guy I date, I'm probably going to marry. See I never liked the process, it was either NOW OR NEVER, if I dated you, I wanted to see a future IN YOU, guess that's why when the fairy tale endings got blurred, I got hurt.

So I decided that I was going to stop dancing with guys and learn to DANCE WITH GOD.

I needed to not only TRUST that He was re-writing my love story but I needed to understand why He fearfully and wonderfully made me. See He calls me DIVINE in the first place and I needed to know WHY

And so the waiting began (Impatient as I am)

 I placed my worth in the hands of another human, 1 too many times, so why was I surprised that he dropped it, every time. Countless times He'd say "Do not awaken love before its time" but being the stubborn soul that I am,I couldn't wait. I mean my friends were dating the loves of their lives and here I was, the third wheel on the 'crew love'. See I took waiting as punishment, some sort of sign that was telling me that maybe cats and wine would be my partner for life.

But that wasn't the case...

I NEEDED TO LOVE ME.
I needed to love the parts that no one claps for, the tummy that jiggled when I laughed,the breathed sigh when I don't get my way or my hopeless lack of direction.It's those unscripted moments that will probably take the-heart-that's-meant-to-love-me's breath away.

I needed to love those slightly embarrassing traits while letting God mould me so I too can be that God-fearing Proverbs 31 woman that Ruth was to her Boaz.


And even if I don't end up with a Boaz, I needed to know WHO I AM and know that IT'S ENOUGH.

Thank the #2016 JAR!

Day 40 of 2016 and you are either easing into the year (yeah we know January was a 'trail month') or like some , still squabbling around trying to piece everything together so the year can 'properly' begin.

There is something about the beginning of the year that brings forth hope, a chance to close a chapter and begin a new one like the good old saying "new year,new me". However, somewhere along the year, the new chapter becomes bumpy,a little rocky and we tend to lose our way, resorting back to old habits.

Call me out on this but let's face it, resorting back to our comfort zone is always the easiest thing to do, be it in

work, a new venture and the ever so dreadful 'healthy lifestyle'. When things get a little too hard,gym becomes a drag or even when the "no's" become a little too familiar, we shrug our shoulders, throw in the towel and simply go back to the ways things used to be because " this year isn't my year so I'll try again next year". See the thing is we THINK we have time that's why it's so easy to say " I'll try again next year" but whether we like it or not,time is ticking so we can either ride this roller-coaster we call LIFE or wave on as life passes us by because comfortable as the comfort-zone is, NOTHING and I mean NOTHING GROWS THERE.
Now you ask, how does one stay positive when it all goes wrong or even when things go stagnant? Well it's simply:
                                      A GRATITUDE JAR!!!!

Upon my endless quote readings on social media, I happen to come across a quote about keeping a jar and filling it with little notes about the things that you are grateful for or even something that made you smile throughout the day.It does not have to be something grand, it can be something as simply as "got a smile from a stranger"

The point of the gratitude jar is to reinforce the spirit of thankfulness. Life has a way of knocking us upside the head sometimes allowing us to only see the negative in every situation, so much so that we tend to miss

the silver lining in the cloud. In the gratitude jar, everyday is seen as a new day to take a risk, better yourself but more so conquer it all.. The jar not only reinforces the spirit of thankfulness but also reminds us of the strength we possess given that if we could go through all that we went through and STILL remain standing strong then clearly we can push through and make it through yet another day.

The Secret said it best when the book mentioned that " we may not realize what our innermost thoughts are,but we can see what we have been

thinking on every subject by looking at what has manifested in our life.The good news is, what has been done can be undone .What has been created can be recreated." It is in the gratitude jar that we are able to alter our thoughts,see a blessing in every situation given that "You must become a magnet of whatever it is that you want, to bring it to you. Magnet comes first-manifestation is second"

Above all, the jar is simply a way of reminding yourself of life's little rewards even when the road gets a little bumpy along the way. So.....'start' the year with a jar and end it with a heart full of gratitude <3

The last page of 2015: REFLECTIONS

It’s crazy how not so long ago I was opening page 1 of 2015 full of anticipation and expectations for the year to come now I turn to the last page of 2015 with nothing less than gratitude. See the beautiful thing about life is that it never and I mean NEVER goes the way we plan it to go and quite frankly, I am glad because had things went the way I intended them to go, I would not have been as appreciative of all the lessons that came with 2015 or life in fact. 2015 in particular was pretty much the WORST year but in the same breath, the BEST year of my life. I say this simply because 2015 taught me a lot about myself and about what I wanted for myself and the people around me. I was forced to take a good look at myself and remind myself WHO I WAS, so allow me call 2015 the REFLECTIVE year.

The year I had to readjust myself and trust me when I say, had it not been faith in Christ, I don’t think I would have been writing this particular piece in this manner. Not only did I take a hard look at myself with every challenge faced,which was not the easiest as I’m not the most vulnerable person least of all to myself but I also had to re-evaluate the people who are in my life. I got to learn who's worth keeping and who’s worth cutting the cord.

As much as 2015 came with challenges, so did the blessings, I exposed myself to new ventures, met really interesting people along this beautiful journey of life, people who I got to learn a lot from. Above all, I learnt A LOT about myself and I can confidently say I’m making my way back ‘home’, to myself.

All in all 2015 was the year I NEEDED from the celebrations to the disappointments, I am grateful for it ALL as I am a different person cause of the lessons so......

2015, THANK YOU FOR THE LESSONS

2016,LET’S MAKE MAGIC!!!

5 SUMMER ESSENTIALS

Whether you are on a summer vacay as the young insta peeps call it or preparing to go on one before hitting the hustle and bustle of life, one NEEDS to be PREPARED for the summer vaction. As someone who loves travelling but hates packing, I’ve found that these summer essentials has made life as a back packer so much more enjoyable whether I pack light or heavy (cause a girl simply cannot have enough clothes on holiday)

SUMMER ESSENTIAL #1 : SUNSCREEN

Yes, sounds crazy but the recipe to a great summer vacation: SUNSCREEN. With all the tanning, chilling by the pool, wandering the streets or just chilling under the sun, your skins NEEDS protection. This is not only protection from the harsh UV rays that come with the sun cause seriously who wants to spend half their holiday nursing sun burnt skin when you can have endless FUN IN THE SUN! *corny but it’s summer so allow me*

SUMMER ESSENTIAL #2 : WATER

Another obvious but yet so essential. As much as sunscreen helps with protecting the precious summer glow on your skin so does H2O yes water. Keeping hydrated during the summer heat is important as one tends to lose a lot of water through sweat and lets not forget the anti aging benefits water has as we soak up the sun so drink on and stay young forever.

SUMMER ESSENTIAL #3 :A GOOD BOOK

Now we all know summer vacations are meant for sitting back, relaxing and just escaping reality. As much as chilling by the pool brings forth that much needed escape but nothing comes close to escaping reality like a good book. Sounds weird cause the whole point of a summer vacation is to escape the dreaded books but there is something about a good book on vacation. See a good book is not one of those prescribed books for school or work but rather a book chosen by yourself FOR YOURSELF so sit back, laze around the pool and get lost in the pages of your favorite book.

SUMMER ESSENTIAL #4 : PICTURES PICTURES PICTURES

In the technological era we are living in, one cannot go on holiday without snapping a couple selfies, OOTD/N (Outfit of the day/night) and ofcourse food. Unfortunately people focus so much on getting the picture perfect instagram snap that they sometimes if not often neglect to capture the moment, those unsolicited moments where everything is perfect. Capture the moments, the very moments you feel most alive like Warsan Shire says “Document the moments you feel most in love with yourself-what you are wearing, who you are around, what you’re doing. Recreate and repeat”

SUMMER ESSENTIAL #5: Good Company

Saving the very BEST for last cause whether you sightseeing or conquering your fears, having someone next to you to share in the moment where you feel most alive is the most priceless thing. So whether family or friends, create memories with those closest to you cause it is in those moments that you fall in love with life

With these summer essentials, I hope you “every once in a while, take off your life and rest”

It's OKAY....... NOT TO BE OKAY....

Have you ever had those days where you just couldn't take it anymore?

Now I'm not talking about bad days where Monday seems to last longer than 24 hours. I'm talking days where getting up is a constant struggle, where everything seems or better yet looks like bleak, so much so that you close the blinds, pull up the covers and just wish it would all go away. 

Have you ever had those, be it days, weeks or even a month? [Puts hand up] Well I have. See for those who know me, know that I'm one of those happy-go-lucky giggle brigade (as my science teacher use say) type of people. The one who never showed ANY signs of anxiety, made everyone around her smile, always lending a hand or an ear but most of all was there for EVERYONE.  Now you ask, how can someone with so much light have "grey weeks" as I call them. See I wasn't use to such, because bad days were always squashed with a chocolate brownie. I had given myself to everyone so much so that when my walls collapsed and I needed to give myself of me, I simply did not know how. 

So I laughed, I smiled at everyone but when I was alone in my room, blinds closed, windows sealed, I cried, I cursed and wished I could see past the pain, past the struggle, past the mountain.

Now you probably wondering "why is she telling us this sob story?"

Well simply because I know people who are strong, people who smile, tell people the things they wished someone told them. People who refuse to admit that maybe I'm not as strong as I play out to be. I know this because I am one. See I have bad days but instead of admitting it, I concealed and pretended that I was too strong for such, too strong to admit it hurts, too strong to feel but most importantly too strong to cry for such.

 As I write this,20 something years of age, let me be the first to say IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY. It's OKAY to kick, scream and cry. Understand that YOU ARE HUMAN ( a strong one for holding on this long) but most importantly, TOMORROW is another day. 

The thing is we get so consumed in today's struggles that we forget about tomorrow's joys but more so how far we've actually come. So today CRY, cry as LONG and LOUD as you want and then PRAY till you can't pray anymore because it's only with prayer that you can face tomorrow a little brighter. It's not easy but if there's one thing I have learned from this, is that the struggle you find yourself in today is simply developing the strength you are going need for tomorrow.

21st October 2015 and I WEPT. . .

And finally I wept.

21st October 2015 and

I wept

Not for me but for the young 21 year

Watching me catch my flight to chase my dream at varsity while all she could do was wait, wait until it was HER turn.

See her door had been closed way too many times for her to keep dusting herself off and hoping the next door she opens will be the one, the one to remind her that "baby girl your dreams TOO are valid"

I wept for the mother whose heart breaks every time she counts her last cents hoping and praying that it'll be enough to send her child to school, so that she too can chase the dream she sees her peers  chasing every school term, only to have her say to her child "hayi m'tanam, hayi namhlanje" [no my child, not today]

And finally I wept for my parents,

The ones who fight day in and day out so every last cent is spent on making sure I was fed, clothed and had enough for my dreams to be valid.

See too long have I been oblivious to the silent cries of my peers, the ones who day by day slip away while I chase this dream.

Too long have I been oblivious of this fight for education.

Kuthiwa "umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu" 

[It is said "a person is a person through other people"]

So today, I weep in solidarity of the brothers and sisters that are saying "black child, YOUR DREAMS TOO ARE VALID"